If It's Tourist Season, Why Can't We Shoot Them?

The small towns of Colorado depend on tourism dollars to survive. Denver isn't as affected by tourists as the mountain towns are. I lived in a tourist town not too far from Aspen for 21 years and we always looked forward to April and October when the tourists had all gone home. Glenwood Springs is home to the world's largest outdoor hot springs pool. My daughter used to call it "people soup" because it was absolutely packed. Consequently, we only went in the off season.

Dan has worked in the hospitality industry for 38 years. When I first met him, he was the Food & Beverage Director at the Hotel Jerome in Aspen where he rubbed elbows with the likes of Johnny Depp, Robin Williams, Anthony Hopkins, the Queen of England, and many others. One morning Bill Murray was wandering around looking kind of lost. Dan called over to him and said, "Bill, how's that restaurant of yours in St. Augustine doing?" Bill looked at him in shock and said, "Your the one who ate there!"

Most of the restaurants in Aspen are closed on Christmas Day so the Jerome has a buffet. Jessica Simpson and Brittany Spears were going through the line. When they got to the carving station they asked what was being carved. The steward said, "Ma'am, that's turkey." They looked at each other and Jessica said, "Really? Is that what a turkey looks like?" Then again, she thought Chicken of the Sea was actually...chicken!

Dan used to have his own restaurant in Snowmass and once kicked Barbra Streisand out for being obnoxious. She started complaining, loudly, that people shouldn't eat animals. Dan said, "Well, it is a steakhouse!" and sent her on her way. He has the funniest stories of things the tourists would ask him. One day he was cruising through the outdoor patio making sure everything was going well. There were some elk browsing on the hillside and some tourists called Dan over and asked, "At what elevation do deer turn into elk?" Dan looked at them seriously and said, "Right around 7,000 feet, ma'am." On a breezy day, a lady actually asked him how they get all the flags to go in the same direction like that. Another person asked him what they did with all the white stuff in the summer. "You mean the snow, ma'am? Well, we have trucks gather it all up and move it into storage for the summer so it doesn't get dirty." There's a mountain just outside of Aspen called Maroon Bells. One person asked Dan what time the Maroon Bells ring. Dan said, "In the summer they ring at 9am and 5pm, but we turn them off in the winter so the deer can turn into elk without being disturbed."

And these people breed.

Take care of each other!


Ginny